For when you need to build confidence, fast.
I’ve noticed a common pattern with my clients. When they go to ask for something, whether it be a raise, promotion, or a new job, suddenly their brain tells them that they are completely unqualified.
Obviously this isn’t true. These women have built careers over years, they know what they are doing. But asking for more, it makes them doubt themselves. I work with them to help bring back confidence so they can go after what they want from a place of calm ownership of the value they add.
Here’s the 4 step process I follow with my clients to revive their confidence:
Create a Hype List - This is a list, separate from your resume, that contains everything you bring to the table. Yes it includes technical skills, but more importantly it includes the soft skills – the things that really make a skilled strategist different from someone who tactically knows how to do the tasks. The level of ownership you take, the speed at which you learn new things, your ability to analyze and solve a variety of problems independently, your interpersonal effectiveness.
Hype up your Hype List - After my clients have written their hype list I tell them to re-write it as if they were helping a friend maximize their resume. Many of my clients feel uncomfortable talking themselves up. So I help them get around this by invoking their friends, who they have no problem celebrating. Just a few words can make a huge difference in your confidence. For example: ‘Good communicator’ says one thing, ‘Excellent interpersonal skills, leveraged to drive client satisfaction’ says something else.
Value your Value - I have found that many of my clients under value what they are actually bringing to the table. Strategic minds, thought leadership, complete ownership of projects, comfort in ambiguity, drive and persistence to see a task through to the end. If you take it for granted that everyone works this way then you can’t see that you are operating in a way that is very meaningful. So I then ask my clients to add examples of how each of their skills has added value. How did their input in a project make it better, smoother, faster? What are they truly bringing to the table past checking a box that a task is done?
Prime your Brain for Confidence - Once you have your list and have internalized the value you bring to the table your job is to reference it often. Our brains respond automatically when primed with information. Reviewing your list before walking into the meeting with your boss to ask for a raise or before an interview with a prospective employer puts you in a powerful mindset of confidence. It doesn’t mean that your doubt will go away completely, or that you won’t be nervous. But it will offer a counter point, so that you can come in with more surety and confidence.
